I have a blog!

Hmmmm…. thinking, thinking….  Where do I start, what do I say?

I suppose the fact that I am having many health problems at the moment has me struggling.  I want to write and write and write as it has always helped.  I have always kept a journal during my ‘down’ times and then tend to forget about it when I am feeling well.  I suppose the reason for that is that I am too busy ‘living’ when I am well and on the other hand I do everything in my power to simply ‘exist’ when I am unwell.

My life changed 4 years ago when I became extremely depressed and anxious.  It all happened so fast.  My first symptoms were that I was bumping into things. I would misjudge a door, desk, wall etc.  This progressed into muscle spasms that were so extreme, I couldn’t even hold a pen.  Coinciding with this were the hot flushes and night sweats.  What started as cautious concern soon turned into full blown anxiety.  I was very frightened and unwell.  I was referred to a psychiatrist who admitted me to a private psych clinic where I was diagnosed with Seratonin Syndrome and was told I was peri-menopausal.  This was after a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis was ruled out via a CAT scan and MRI.

SS is usually a result of someone taking an overdose of anti-depressants.  Or in my case, taking an anti-depressant for a long time and usually at a high dose.

So, lets rewind to 16 years prior. At that time, I had given birth to our son.  He was a very sick baby will multiple anaphylactic allergies. I also developed a thyroid auto immune condition called Graves Disease. I had to have a hysterectomy at age 30 and to top it off, I had a head-on car accident – not my fault (just had to add that!).  I became depressed and had panic attacks, which led to agoraphobia.  After a short stay in hospital, I was eventually placed on a new type of AD called Zoloft, which works on the seratonin in the brain.  I was never taken off this medication and in hindsight I should have been more pro-active in asking to be taken off them.

So (in 2009) after 16 years on this medication, the diagnosis of Seratonin Syndrome seemed pretty straight forward to me.  But this diagnosis brings it’s own set of problems.  I had to be taken off the medication at a very quick rate and this did not help my depression/anxiety at all.  In fact it only served to make life more bleak for me. How to treat my depression now?  I was given medication which helped with the anxiety, yet I was not responding well to  AD medications.  I reached a stage where I started having suicidal thoughts and thinking the world would be a better place off without me in it!  My body was also attacking itself with a change from my previous diagnosis of Graves disease to Hashimoto’s disease.  In other words, my body thinks that my thyroid gland is a foreign, awful thing that I can live without and is constantly attacking it to kill it off.  My antibodies for this were extremely high and I had multiple med changes to compensate.  This only aggravated my depression and I felt I had run out of options and decided to undergo a course of ECT.  I had a secondary psych treat me at this stage and during the course of treatments, he started me on a new AD and an old tri-cyclic one.  I slowly started responding and improving.  By 2010, I was working again and felt life was returning to normal.

I am happy to say that for the period of early 2010 – late 2012 I was functioning and ‘living’ again (albeit with hot flushes and my thyroid continuing to play up).  We enjoyed a cruise to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, we celebrated mine and Gary’s 50th birthdays, spent wonderful time with family and friends and although I had minor anxiety at times, it never held me back.  I was hopeful for a ‘normal’ life again……

Whew, guess I pick up from December 2012 in my next entry.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. matthewmford
    Jul 13, 2013 @ 06:55:16

    Awesome blog mum! I’m so proud of you. You are handling this so well. I love you and we will get through this together.



  2. matthewmford
    Jul 13, 2013 @ 06:57:12

    Reblogged this on Matt's Lyme journey and commented:
    In a bit of a crazy turn of events, it has come to light that my Mother quite likely has lyme disease. She has just started a blog which you can click through to. This is very good news as she also has been sick for a long time and was not responding to any other treatment for incorrect diagnoses..


  3. Terri Ford
    Jul 13, 2013 @ 18:01:41

    Thanks Matt. I am so proud of the way you are handling your treatment and the help you are providing me. xxx


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