So Many Emotions

In the short space of one week, I have felt so many emotions, both high and low….

On Friday after arriving home, Sunny was still very drowsy but we had to take her to our vet where we were taught how to use and inject her with an Epi-pen.  Memories flooded back after all these years of experiencing the same thing with our son who also had anaphylactic reactions to many things.

Luckily we had plans to catch up with friends in the evening.   The guys went to watch QLD vs WA in lawn bowls and my girlfriend and I had the best pizza ever and a good catch up.  It was a great night.

Unfortunately, upon our return, I found out that a friend’s daughter had taken her own life while we were away.  She had lived with Lymes for 14 years and lived in constant agony, bed bound and enduring suffering that no-one should ever have to.

I also learnt that our son had been quite ill while we were away with a throat infection on top of his Lymes.  His illness had put pressure on his relationship and his girlfriend was finding it difficult to cope with.  They had decided to have a few days apart to get their thoughts/feelings into perspective.

I spent Saturday crying and lethargic.  A quick jolt back to reality.

Sunday, I pulled myself together and had the best day that I have had since becoming ill again last December.  I manged to get so many jobs done around the house and even went shopping by myself.  This meant driving the car and also going into the supermarket.  I walked in like I owned it and it was a glorious feeling.  On top of the world!

Monday I saw the new Lyme Doctor and I was very emotional as I had to tell my story from A-Z yet again.  He ordered a ton of blood tests and I see him again in a fortnight’s time.  It is then that I will have more blood tests which will be sent to Germany.

On Tuesday, hubby came home with car problems and I had to cancel my appointment with my psych.  Luckily there was nothing major wrong with his car and our mechanic was able to look at it immediately.

But Tuesday only got worse.  When our son arrived home, he told us that his relationship had ended.  His girlfriend had packed a few things and had moved out.  I was devastated for my son as it was his birthday the next day!

So Wednesday, my heart broke for our son and I was really down.  I could tell that I was starting the downward spiral again.  I just don’t handle things as well as I used to.  We had a special dinner for him and tried to make the night as happy as we could.  Thank God for his friends (guys and girls) who rallied around him and made sure he had a great day/night.

I saw my nurse on Thursday and ‘let it all out’.  So many different emotions and so many tears….

Our son is coping well and really thinks it is for the best.  He amazes me no end.

Sunny is bounding around again and up to her playful antics of bringing pebbles and leaves in from outside.  She has so much energy.

I had ten days without feeling off-balance, but the stress of the week has brought back some jerking and dizziness.  I have taken a day off today and just rested as I have been very depressed the last two days.  I am hoping this will give me energy and a renewed vigour to stay positive and cope with what this week has to offer.



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