Struggling

 

I sit here and wish I could write wonderful, happy things about my life.  I try so hard to see my Blessings in every day.   But I am struggling.

The loss of Sunny really has had a huge impact on me and I still cry for her most days.  I think I will only find closure when I know she has been adopted by her ‘forever’ family.  We have planted bright flowers in the little garden she claimed as her own.   I look out of my bedroom window and smile when I see them.

My depression and anxiety are still severe and added to that the exhaustion and many complications of the Lyme disease, I am finding it very difficult to walk at the moment and this leaves me bed bound on many days.  I hate this and cry a lot over the simple tasks that I can no longer do.  Then I think to myself that I am lucky to be able to walk to the toilet, shower and make a cup of tea.  So many people are much worse off than me.  I try so hard to push through my days and if I manage to do housework or go out etc I feel so happy and proud but unfortunately, I usually crash the next day.  There is so much housework that needs doing……  I feel so guilty that I can’t cope.

In this coming week, I am going to see a Naturopath.  I have spoken to her and she sounds like she may be able to help me.  The treatment of Lyme is a holistic one and I am looking forward to meeting with her.  She is Lyme literate and I have been referred by a fellow Lymie.  Anything to give me some hope.  Hubby has said we wont stop until I get some relief and get my life back.  It is horrible to think this may take months or even years.  😦

On a happier note, my son saw his Lyme Dr this week and he was so pleased with his progress.  He is about 60% recovered.  Now THAT makes me happy 🙂  I marvel at the beautiful, caring, loving, witty man my son has grown to be.  I have so much to be grateful for.

My gorgeous son who has been my rock over the last two weeks. xx

My gorgeous son who has been my rock over the last two weeks. xx

There are so many people I need to thank for their support over the last two weeks.  Phone calls, texts, visits, cards and emails.  Where would I be without my caring family and friends?  I wish I could tell you all that I am well and happy as I know that is what you would love to hear.  Please hang in there with me,  I WILL speak those words one day.

Love and light to all who read this, Terri xxx

 

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